Most people who prescribe to masochism derive some sort of thrill or sexual gratification out of it. I don't. The only reason I'm a masochist is that I voluntarily enrolled in nursing school while seeking treatment for an eating disorder. Because obviously I didn't hate life enough while I was just eating disordered. Har!
Nursing school has taught me so much about people and has helped me figure a lot of stuff out about myself. So I can't knock it too bad, but I do want to know who let the Marquis de Sade design the curriculum.
I live my life like a under-pruned bonsai tree. Right now, I'm learning how to live my life in the constraints that I chose, which at the time being is school and work. A bonsai tree can be a beautiful, healthy and happy plant, but only if it is well taken care of by the hands of master. To be hopelessly cheesy, I'm going to be my own bonsai master and shape myself into a healthy and happy person. I just have to do it without dying from the stress of school first!
Right now I'm in an intensive outpatient program at an eating disorders clinic in my home town. This is my third time in this particular program, and it's only now that I feel like I'm gaining a true understanding of the true workings of recovery. DBT, dialetical behavioral therapy, has saved my life. When I first starting working with it and learning the skills I thought it was a bunch of whooey. Now, I use these skills and teachings everyday.
Let's see how well DBT mixes with the seedy underside of humanity.
